I don’t think people always realize that when someone is ill, often there is someone behind the scenes taking care of them. I don’t think we should discount what the person is going through with their illness, but I think it’s also important to recognize that the people caring for that person are also going through a very stressful journey. It’s not easy to be a caregiver for a number of reasons. One of the biggest ones is that the caregiver is emotionally invested in the person they are caring for, so it is also hard for them to watch as their loved one is going through such a difficult time. Walking alongside them and caring for them is an act of love, but it is extremely emotionally and physically draining. I felt led to write this article to help people remember that while we should certainly and rightly focus on the person that is experiencing the illness, we also need to remember the people who are caring for them so that we can support them as well. Both need physical help, emotional support, and our prayers.
A great example for me personally is the fact that I recently had rotator cuff surgery. My husband has been my hero, as he spends each and every day meeting my needs. Because the surgery was for my dominant right arm which had to be immobilized for 4 weeks, he really had his work cut out for him. The physical therapy is an additional three to four months, so his schedule is completely disrupted as he continues to care for me and also facilitates the physical therapy exercises I’ve been assigned. All of this while working and taking care of all of the household chores. One of the best things that happened is that the day after my surgery, my very dear friend Sabitha came by our house and dropped off a package at our door, without even knocking.
She recognized that I was probably exhausted from my surgery and in no shape to greet anybody, but she wanted to help by providing my husband with food. He could continue to focus on me while enjoying the delicious soups that carried him through the next three days. I can’t begin to say how grateful I am for that very kind gesture. Another important point is that she didn’t wait for me to reach out to her. She acted. I’m not taking away from people who offer to help by saying, “Let me know if you need anything.” But the truth is, many people may need something (or at least would be blessed with a little help) but can’t bring themselves to reach out, fearing they will inconvenience others. By taking action upon herself, Sabitha met a real need we had and blessed us immeasurable by her gifts, both tangible and intangible.
Sabitha also had some goodies for me which I deeply appreciated, but the greatest impact for us was seeing that my husband was cared for so that he could care for me. What a blessing that was! On top of all that, she returned with more goodies the following week to cheer me on in my recovery. If you know of anybody who is going through a health challenge, please don’t forget them. They need continual encouragement and prayers. They also need love and support expressed in tangible ways. But don’t forget that their caregivers need all of that, too.
3 thoughts on “Caregivers Need Care, Too”
That’s beautiful. So nice to see to Sister Sabitha coming out to see you in her fresh Indian attire. Prayers and hopes are with you for good health, guidance, and success in this life.
Yes. A timely reminder to not just ask but to do!
I read this post right after you posted it and kept forgetting to stop by and comment. First, I hope your shoulder is healing well! Second, thank you for recognizing how hard it is to be a caregiver and for pointing out that sometimes the best way to support a caregiver is to just act. I know from my own caregiving days, not so far in the past, that most of us won’t ask for help, even if you ask us to let you know if you can help. The people who helped me the most were the ones that showed up with food and/or offered to do a specific thing–Can I pick your son up from school? Can I bring you groceries? That sort of thing. It was easier to say yes to a specific offer than to ask for what I needed–and sometimes I didn’t know what I needed till someone mentioned it.
Take care, heal well, and write on!