Category: Self-Improvement

A Common Humanity; A Common Hope

Samflowers2I have been thinking about the pandemic and how it has affected not just our family, or even our country, but the entire world. I am very blessed to have a friend named Ingrid. She lives in China. In fact, she lives in the epicenter of the coronavirus, Wuhan. I met Ingrid through my husband Phil’s work. She works for a supplier for his company. During the pandemic, Ingrid and I started exchanging emails. We have never met in person and we come from two very different cultures, but we share a common humanity. I want to tell you about the friendship we found. I decided to let excerpts from our emails tell our story.

Our first emails began on February 29, 2020. Ingrid and her husband and her son, Sam, were under lockdown in Wuhan and the first death attributed to the coronavirus in the United States was announced in Washington State, about 40 miles from where our son Josh had started his internship in January with World Vision. In my first email I greeted Ingrid and her family, and did my best to encourage her:

I hope you and your beautiful family are doing well. It must be very hard to be restricted to your home all of these weeks. I am so sorry you are all having to experience this hardship. I just wanted to write to tell you that you and your family and everyone affected by the corona virus are all in our prayers. We are praying for safety for you, your family, all of the communities affected, and the health care workers. We are also praying for healing for those who have contracted the virus.

Ingrid responded on March 4th with a lovely email in return, but one that also spoke of the hardship they were experiencing:

Yes, we have been restricted at home for quite some time, today is the 42nd day. Life was difficult but is getting better and better now. 

We used to be panic, not sure if we would have enough food; we used to be scared, so many people got affected but no bed for them in hospital; we used to be so sad, so many cries for help on internet, yet so many people died every day; we used to be inspired, so many doctors, nurses, came bravely to our city to help. Since it is not so difficult for us to buy food (although we are still not allowed to go out of the community, we can order online and collect at the door gate), we are more and more get used to this life now.

What makes me happy is that none of my family members, relatives, friends, in Wuhan have got affected. I hope we can keep this record. 🙂

ingrid_goldenfamilyAll your family members are good looking. I love your smile. I can tell you are a nice, kind-hearted lady from your face. 🙂 Your son is so handsome, I love his beard, so cool~~~I can tell he is a sunshine boy with good temper. Phil is always so lovely! I found out he loves plaid shirt deeply. Am I right?

 

Yes! Ingrid you are right! LOL

Ingrid also shared about cutting her husband and son’s hair, since it was getting so long during their lock down. She ended her email with:

Don’t worry dear Nancy, we will get through this hard time soon. 

I hope you and your lovely family members always happy and healthy.  

My husband and my son Sam, ask me to say thanks to you. Your letter also warms and encourages them. They appreciate it. We are now looking forward to spring. When spring comes, maybe we can step outside…

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On March 8th I wrote in return:

Our hearts are breaking for all of those affected around the world. We must all stand together and love and support one another! I saw a wonderful video on youtube – I wish you could see it. It shows people from countries around the world all giving the same message – Stay Strong, Wuhan! Stay Strong, China! China Strong! Wuhan Strong! We are all in this together! If we all work together we can overcome these challenges! Be courageous – We stand by you! We are with you!

Dear Ingrid, I hope you and your family find it encouraging to know that 🙂

Sprinkled throughout these emails are pictures we shared of what we have each been cooking during lockdown.

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Ingrid’s next email on March 10th, she wrote:

I still would like to remind you to wear mask when go to public places like supermarket if possible, wash your hands whenever you take food. Do not touch your mouth, nose, and eyes with your hands. I can understand Josh will think we such mothers are “making a storm in a teacup,” but please also try to remind him. We also hope your family stay healthy.

Part of my response on March 14th:

You write excellent English! I am also an ESL teacher and have taught English to my students from around the world, including China. I am very impressed with your command of the English language!

Regarding your question about the outbreak, yes, I am referring to the corona virus. The first case in the United States was in Washington state, in the same county where our son is working for World Vision. We wanted him to fly home to be with us, but we decided it was too dangerous, since there have been over 450 cases. We are afraid he has a greater chance of being exposed if he goes to an airport or gets in an airplane. Washington has had the most infections. Very sadly, they began in a nursing home and several of the residents have died. The corona virus has also spread to California and New York with large numbers of cases. As you know, we live in Texas. It has also arrived here. Because Phil has asthma and is 65 years old, we are staying home. He will not be going into work next week and UPG will reevaluate how to proceed at the end of next week. Fortunately, we have lots to do at our house so hopefully we will keep busy and safe.

Thank you so much for your advice and concern, dear Ingrid. I love the idiom you shared, “making a storm in a teacup.” An English equivalent would be “making a mountain out of a molehill.” And yes, our sons often think that way because of their youth, but rest assured Joshua understands the gravity of the situation and is anxious to protect not only himself, but also our more vulnerable population. He is staying in his host family’s house and working from there. The schools have all been shut down. It is a scary time for all of us but we have faith in God that He will provide for us and for the world, which keeps us from worrying too much. We are praying for you and your family and for everyone affected by the pandemic.

And part of Ingrid’s next response on March 17th:

You are right to not let Josh come back at this time. The most dangerous thing is to go to public places with many people. Airport is surely a very dangerous place. Even in Wuhan, since we stayed at home, my family and all of my 36 relatives in this city are ok. Most of the people who got infected are those who have been to hospital or supermarket. You and Phil please also stay at home. I have been stayed at home for 54 days. Based on my experience, I have to say we human beings are good at getting used to suit any environment. We all feel quite ok at home now. The best things is that we can have enough sleep, which is good for our health but we never have chance to fulfill if not because of the virus. 🙂

In Ingrid’s next email on March 26th:

Haven’t heard from you for so many days, how are you doing?

After 64 days’ stay at home, finally I stepped out of my house yesterday. I was so excited for that. I have been to a grocery store near my house. Haven’t shopped for more than 2 months, even the snacks there made me more excited. I bought so much snacks, some of which I did not like to take in the past. We need a good chance to vent. 🙂

The good news is although our city is still locked down, our plant is re-opened. Not all the workers are able to be back at present but it is still a good sign that our life will slowly back to normal. But experts said the virus may return after our city unblocks, so we must be very very careful when back to work. 

Based on our experience, we all think only if we do not go to public places, wear mask, wash our hands carefully, do not touch our eyes, nose and mouth with our hands, the virus can be not so terrible. 

I wish you and your family members take good care of yourselves and get through this hard time soon~~~

And on March 27th from me:

Thank you so much for writing! You have been on my heart to respond to your last email every day, but things have gotten pretty crazy around here. I am sorry if I worried you. We are well and safe,

I am sooooo happy you got to go outside yesterday – that is wonderful news!!! I understand about the shopping – I was so excited two days ago when I managed to buy some toilet paper on Amazon 🙂 

I am so happy to hear that life is slowly starting to get back to normal. Our challenges began over a week ago which is why I have not returned your other email yet.

Ingrid’s response, also on March 27th:

I am happy to see your email, which tells me you are all ok. In fact I was a little worried about you since you seldom don’t reply for so long time. Now I am released. 

I guess the crazy you mentioned should be people are trying to store toilet paper and food? When the virus comes, all the people are doing these, so you do not need to worry too much, just also store enough at home and try to lessen your chances to go out, I believe you will be safe. 

I responded on March 29th:

Thank you for your advice regarding the protocol for staying safe and preventing infection. I told Josh and he says he understands what to do. He still goes to the grocery store but only once every two weeks and very early before it gets busy. I worry sometimes, but I also trust God to take care of my son.

It is hard to keep Phil home. He is used to being very active, so I have to be creative in finding things to keep him busy. You are right, we human beings can adapt, but I think it’s harder for some people than others to be stuck home. I am glad he likes to cook!

I enjoy our chats – it is very relaxing and peaceful to visit with a sweet friend! Please tell your husband and Sam hello for us – you and your family are in our prayers for safety, peace, and provision.

I sent this one on April 3rd:

I hope you and your family are all safe and doing well. I am a little bit worried because you have not responded yet – I am hoping to hear from you soon, so I can know you are okay.

Please answer as soon as you are able – I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Please give my greetings to your husband and Sam. Phil says hello also.

Take care dear friend,

And received this from Ingrid in reply on April 3rd:

I am so sorry for my late reply. And I am sorry to make you worried. 

I resumed to work in office this Monday. So many emails and so much work, my brains are so so so full . 

After my first working day, when I went home, I saw Sam was playing basketball downstairs with mask. I was a little sad at that time, because after 71 days’ staying at home, this is the first time he stepped out of the house, but still with mask on; I was also a little touched seeing him so energetic under the beautiful flower tree. No matter how hard life is, it can still be beautiful and full of hope, isn’t it?

Sam2

On April 4th I responded:

I am so glad to receive your email! Now I also am released from worry 🙂 When I didn’t get the auto-reply I thought you might have returned to work – you must be so busy catching up!

I can tell you are a tender loving mother also, and that you worry about your son like all good mothers do. The picture of Sam brought tears to my eyes. Yes, my dear Ingrid, no matter how hard life is, it can still be beautiful and full of hope! I also feel very blessed that even in terrible times we can find some good. I have found a lovely new friend in an amazing and sweet lady named Ingrid, and I am thankful for that 🙂

We found in our emails that we not only have a common humanity, but also a common hope. We both see that hope in our children and in the beauty of life, even when it is hard. We also found hope in our friendship.

From Ingrid on April 7th:

About our friendship, it is really a great gift to me. It lighted my dark days.

From me on April 9th:

I treasure your friendship, dear Ingrid. It reminds me that we are all the same in our hearts no matter where we live or what country we are from. Thank you so much for your love and encouragement – they are precious to me.

If two women who have never met can form a caring friendship and encourage and inspire each other from opposite sides of the world, just imagine what is possible for all of us! Ingrid and I invite you to join us in finding a common hope in the beauty of life even in these difficult times and to recognize our common humanity with the people of all nations – we will all get through this together!

We Are Writers

In a sense, I felt like I lost one of my wheels today. As a bicyclist, I think this metaphor is particularly appropriate. I have been prepping for DFWCon for weeks (a writers conference billed as the largest one in Texas, with lots of wonderful industry professionals and fellow writers in attendance). I was looking forward to being a part of the conference, going to the classes, making new friends, and pitching my science fiction novel, Alien Neighbors. To my frustration, I developed a minor (although thank God, easily treatable) medical issue, but it was enough to stop me from attending. I think there is an important lesson here. There are NO career breaking moments. My writing career was not dependent on this conference. What it is dependent on, is that I stay the course. I must admit today was a bit rough, but I will pick myself up, dust myself off, and continue the journey. We are writers – that is what we do. disappointment-3151237_1920

Revisioners

I am learning what it truly means to be a writer. Perhaps we should be called “revisioners.” Writing excellence typically requires rewrites. While it may seem like a painful and tedious process – it can actually be fun. Seeing your story improve is like watching your child practice something and start to get really good at it. Remember, it’s all in your perspective. When you find yourself needing to rewrite something – view it as a wondrous opportunity, rather than a chore. You’ll be so glad to see the results when you are done!

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Birthday Blog

beach-beautiful-dawn-40192When I woke up on my birthday morning (three days ago), the thought immediately came to me “Today is the day the Lord has made, Rejoice and be glad in it.” I was very grateful for that, because the day before I had been struggling. I was struggling with the fact that I have been battling lower back pain the last few weeks, the knowledge that my body is getting older and telling me that in not always so subtle ways, missing those who have gone on to be with the Lord, especially my Mom, working towards getting a literary agent for my book (which can be a long, arduous process) and seeking where God is leading next. So when God had so graciously placed that thought in my head, He positioned me to see my life from a completely different perspective. 

“Today is the day the Lord has made, Rejoice and be glad in it!”

Rejoice and be glad for:

A wonderful husband – Phil is my best friend and soulmate. He believes in my dreams, encourages me, and supports me.

An incredible son – Josh is seeking God’s will for his life and has recently been blessed with a wonderful job doing video work for a local church.

An amazing array of family – daughter Melissa – son-in-law Aaron – awesome grandkids / brothers – Eddie and Vinny / Sisters – Janet and Lynn / Sisters-in laws – Jane and Sara / loving nieces and nephews – the list goes on and on…

The gift of friends, near and far, many of whom expressed their Birthday wishes for me. Friends are truly a gift from God and I am grateful for each one.

Incredible experiences in my life – from climbing mountains to managing an engineering department. Leading an ESL ministry to being a college professor. Training horses and ranch work to writing two books. Preaching a sermon at a small country church to coordinating a school science fair. Getting to be a wife and mom and grandma. The list goes on and on, and I am truly humbled when I think of all of these blessings God has provided for me. Ephesians 3:20 comes to mind.

And most of all, for a Savior that loves me so much that He died for my sake and rose again to defeat death, so that I can be cleansed of my sins and have eternal life with Him. Not only that – He walks with me each day!

 

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Thanks to everyone who took time out of your day to bless me with your Birthday wishes – I love you and I treasure them in my heart. And my prayer for each of you is that you too wake up each morning with the thought in your head:

“Today is the day the Lord has made, Rejoice and be glad in it!”

 

 

 

A Lenten Valentine’s Day

ashwedI woke up this morning thinking about how to reconcile celebrating Valentine’s Day with observing Ash Wednesday, when I realized that there isn’t any need for reconciliation; the two events complement each other beautifully. As we reflect solemnly on our sinful state and the admonition that Ash Wednesday brings to the forefront in Genesis 3:19, “for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return,” it is certainly a time of repentance. But it is also a time to draw us to closer to experiencing God’s love through the Gospel.

heart2018So let me explain the correlation I think we have between these two seemingly dissimilar events. To begin with, it would be good to get a better understanding of the word love. In the English language we use one word to describe many things. We can love our brothers and sisters, we can have a more intimate love for our spouses, we can even love hamburgers, but none of these describes the love that God has for us. When we go back to the original Greek, we see that all of these types of love have a different word assigned to it. Family love or love of an object may fall under Storge στοργή. The brotherly love of friendship is expressed as Philia φιλία, and sexual love as Eros ἔρως. The love of God for man has its own word too. It is called Agape ἀγάπη. God’s love for us is relentless, incomprehensible, sacrificial and unconditional.

I read a quote about Agape love by Paulo Coelho that beautifully expresses the magnitude of God’s love for us: “This was the love that Jesus felt for humanity, and it was so great that it shook the stars and changed the course of man’s history.”

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When we think of Valentine’s Day, we think of love. The Scriptures tell us in John 15:13, “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” John 3:16 says, “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”

Ash Wednesday is a stark reminder as to why each of us needs that love. In Ash Wednesday we remember our mortality, that we are dust and will return to dust. We are reminded of our sin, but the Gospel message tells us we have victory over our sin if we repent and believe. 1 Corinthians 15:55-57 gives us hope:

O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?

The sting of death is sin; and the strength of sin is the law.

But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

1 John 4:8 proclaims, “He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.” The message is clear. We are to love one another. Jesus teaches us in Matthew 22:37-39 “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.”

Today is a day we can celebrate love in all of its facets: the love that God has for us, and the different types of love that we have for one another. Today, Phil and I will contemplate the incredible love that God has for us as sinful mortals with gratefulness and repentance, and we will also celebrate the love we have as husband and wife. When you think about it, Valentine’s Day is a holiday that celebrates romantic love, but what could be more romantic than sacrificial love? Ultimately that is the type of love that lasts when the trappings of Valentine’s Day fades into the busyness of life.

JesusdesertAsh Wednesday marks the beginning of Lent, and we have the season of Lent ahead of us. Another Lenten tradition for some folks is to “give something up” for Lent. The purpose is to recognize and share in Jesus’ sacrifice as he withdrew into the desert and fasted for 40 days. Another way we can share in this tradition is rather than give something up, we can commit to do something, as an expression of sacrificial love. For me, I choose to write one card of encouragement each day of Lent (to the person God puts on my heart that day), and mail it. One has to be intentional, and carve out time to do this. Not a great sacrifice perhaps, but it serves the purpose of giving time to God to bless someone else. Just another way to show that ultimately, Ash Wednesday and Lent, while a season of repentance, is grounded in the greatest love of all and is a great way to live out the command Jesus gave us in John 13:34, “A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.”

handheartAnother GREAT thing to do today is to forgive someone if you have been allowing bitterness to fester in your heart. I know many people who struggle with forgiveness, in that they are either unable to forgive themselves for something they have done or they are unable to forgive someone else for hurting them. When I think about God’s limitless grace and that it is through Christ’s sacrifice at the cross that we have received forgiveness for all of our transgressions – what is even more amazing is that God initiated it, we read in Romans 5:8, “For God demonstrates his great love for us in this; while we were still sinners Christ died for us.” He died for us knowing we were a mess, yet loving us anyway. His forgiveness heals us and if we are unable to forgive ourselves, or others, we are unable to fully experience the peace that comes from the healing power of Christ. If you are in this category, you can read more at my blog post: Forgiving Ourselves and Forgiving Others.

There are all sorts of ways we can live out loving one another. A friend of mine is planning on choosing one item each day from her family’s clothing closets, so that at the end of Lent she will have 40 gently used items to donate to those in need. Sounds like both a sacrificial and practical plan to me! May you find special blessings each day as you spend this time preparing your heart for celebrating the resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ on Easter Sunday. And if you have never participated in Lent before, you might want to give it a try. It’s a wonderful way to deepen your spiritual journey.

Happy Lenten Valentine’s Day!

 

 

Our Need for Community

write-2930023_1920As writers, we often find ourselves working in a solitary place. For some of us, that is the only way we can unleash the thoughts in our head in a coherent fashion. It is time that many of us have to work hard to obtain – perhaps by shutting ourselves away from our busy and boisterous families by sneaking into the back bedroom for thirty minutes. For others it might look like a trip to the local library or Starbucks with our laptop in tow, hoping we don’t bump into someone we know, so we can use the precious minutes we have carved out of our busy schedules to actually write. Our understandable predisposition to gain solitary time in order to respond to our calling may become an obsession if we aren’t careful. It can become quite easy to duck out of social activities when our work-in-progress is tugging at our hearts. But many famous writers were notable as recluses, so what’s the harm?

lonestarActually, it can be harmful. I think it is important to recognize that God created us to be in community. Not only is it good as a writer to enter the social sphere, it is good for our souls. Writers are observers of life, and our writings reflect the truths we have found through our observations and experiences. You can’t observe or experience if you keep yourself segregated from the rest of humanity. Being in community also satisfies the yearning we all have to be part of something greater than ourselves, whether we recognize it or not. That is why I am so excited about the upcoming writing conference I am attending: Lonestar.Ink in Dallas this February. I have been a writer for many years, yet I have never made the time to attend one. I am not sure what to expect, but I am very excited about the possibilities. Sure, I expect to leat-grandmaearn some good stuff from some successful authors and editors who are willing to communicate their knowledge with others. I am also anticipating that this will be an opportunity to network. But I also see it as something else – as an opportunity to break out of my solitude and connect with other people that have similar dreams and goals. People who will get my grammar puns and appreciate them without rolling their eyes (well, maybe…) and of course enjoy the conversations and debates that arise as writers compare notes on both technique and content.

Another strong reason to get out into the community (and attend a writers conference) is explained by developmental psychologist Susan Pinker. She reveals how in-person social interactions are not only necessary for human happiness, but could also be key to health and long life in an intriguing TED Talk where she explains that social interaction is the number one predictor for longevity. She explains that this isTED not limited to close acquaintances, but includes everyone that we interact with as we move through our day. Further, “Face to face contact releases a whole cascade of neurotransmitters and, like vaccines, they protect you now in the present and well into the future.” As a matter of fact, her entire speech made me really glad I signed up for the conference. Her research shows that brain activity becomes much more engaged with a live partner. Recruiters from Fortune 500 companies thought the candidates were smarter if they heard their voices, compared to when they read their pitches from a text, email or letter. So theoretically, pitching an agent or publisher at a writing conference makes me smarter then sending a query letter…quaking knees and all.

Pinker says, “It’s a biological imperative to know we belong.” She points out the benefits of social contact, “Building inter-person interhyperboleaction into our cities, into our workplaces, into our agendas, bolsters the immune system, sends feel good hormones surging through the blood stream and brain, and helps us live longer. I call this building your village, and building it and sustaining it is a matter of life and death.” So now I can extrapolate from this information that attending the Lonestar.ink writing conference is a matter of life and death. Okay, I might be slightly exaggerating, but hey, it’s still a great idea and what’s a little hyperbole among friends?

 

Guest Post: Books as a Catalyst to a Love of Learning and Reading!

I read this on Facebook and asked my friend Abigail Harper Christie if I could share it, because it really spoke to me about the value of reading and having access to books. As a writer, it validates my own endeavors as a way to contribute to humanity. Abigail’s story tells of the life-changing impact that books made on her:

harrypotterbookAs my trip to London and our Harry Potter Pilgrimage draws to a close, I have been thinking about the impact that Harry Potter has had on my life. I understand that it is just a book series, but for me it is a tiny bit more. Pre-HP, I had absolutely no interest in reading and was reading pretty significantly below grade level. I just didn’t care. My mom would try to force me to read to her at night and I would put up a fight every time. Then someone gave me Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone in third grade. I couldn’t put it down. Within weeks I had read the first three books. Before I was done with third grade I had read Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit while waiting for the fourth one to come out. By the next time they did reading evaluations I was then reading/comprehending significantly above grade level. I remember taking my books with me everywhere and talking about them a bit too much.

Harry Potter is more than just a series of books for me, it was the catalyst to a love of learning and reading. So I know we are all busy these days with relationships, school, work, adulting, etc., but try to take the time to stop and read a book. It might just lead you to places you never imagined possible.

NancyDrewThanks, Abigail – I spent many a night in elementary school hiding under the covers with a flashlight and Nancy Drew mystery book (I am a bit older than you, okay, maybe more than a bit…and Harry Potter was still a long way off, but Nancy Drew had the same effect) so I can really identify with your experience and I wish that for everyone. Reading transports us to another world and allows us to see possibilities that we wouldn’t know existed otherwise. It empowers us with knowledge and reassures us with familiarity. It helps us cope by providing a means to take a break from our troubles. I think one of the best gifts you can give a child is to facilitate a love of reading. Thanks for sharing about the impact that books have had on you – as an author the best thing we can possibly hear is that we have made a difference in someone’s life!

Finding Joy in the Moment…

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It’s been quite awhile since my last post and a lot has happened along the way. At Chapter 24, my science fiction novel is almost 2/3rds complete and is a blast to work on. Life has been busy as my husband and I have let go of some responsibilities and taken on new ones. But what I have really felt impressed upon me lately is finding joy in the moment.

If you are like me, your days are filled with tasks to be completed. As soon as I get caught up in one area, more things to be done appear on the horizon. It is so easy to get caught up rushing to the next task that we don’t pause to enjoy the moment that we are in. I often have to stop and ask myself, “Is there a neighbor I need to check on? Is there a friend I have not talked to in awhile? Is there someone I have meant to get in touch with that I haven’t made time for? When is the last time I went with our teenage son for a walk in the park, to the library or a breakfast outing?” I am so grateful for so many things, and especially for my husband Phil. His birthday was this past Tuesday and I knew he always wanted to drive a bulldozer, so I surprised him by taking him on an adventure that he truly enjoyed. We set aside all of our thoughts about our responsibilities and just immersed ourselves in the day. I am grateful we had that opportunity to make memories that will last a lifetime. Who knew pushing huge mounds of dirt could bring so much joy!

While life continues (along with the pressures and stresses of life) I am learning to keep my focus more on God and loving people and less on the stuff that I can’t change anyway. When you really do make an effort to see the glass as half full, and further, to be grateful that you have that glass in the first place, it changes your outlook and joy becomes resident where disappointment or anxiety used to reside. While there is a degree of necessity in doing many tasks, it is the perspective we choose and how we prioritize our day that allows us to make room for the special experiences of life that are truly meaningful…and reminds us to take joy in the moment we are in.

 

Reinventing Myself

breakfast2I have spent these last few weeks busy with graduation activities. My son just graduated from Early College High School which means that we had double ceremonies and more events than the average high school graduate. A Senior Honors breakfast, Senior Walk, High School Graduation Ceremony, College Graduation Ceremony, Church Youth Group Recognition Dinner, and a graduation party for family and friends that I planned and hosted, kept me very busy. This morning I accompanied our son to the second day of freshman orientation where he registered for his Fall classes and is officially a University student. I have barely had time to absorb the fact that my main priority for the last eighteen years, caring for my son and raising him to be a successful young adult, has taken a dramatic change. While hubby and I will always be there for love, support and encouragement, it is time for him to grow into his independence and to be his own person. If I had any illusions otherwise, the college freshman orientation experience makes it abundantly clear – while parents are welcome for the various informational sessions, they are not allowed to accompany their student to registration. My baby boy is now responsible for making his own decisions.

joshbuzz2I have had a lot of varied emotions about all of this. On one hand I must admit I am a little sad – it’s hard to let go of the little guy that I have spent so many years nurturing. It feels like just yesterday he was pretending to be Buzz Light Year, talking into his report recorder and using his laser. It seems I was just planning his “dinosaur dig” 6th birthday party, yet we just finished his high school graduation party. Precious memories are mixed up with anticipation for his future…but through all of that emotion comes another realization. I now have more time to devote to my own dreams – the ones that had to be put on the back burner while I took on the more important role of Mom. There is a freedom in my son’s graduation – not just for him but for me and hubby too. I feel like I am getting to reinvent myself. I spent most of my adult professional life as an engineer and I loved it. Engineering has it’s own kind of creativity but is also a very technical discipline. But what I really hope to do now that our son has graduated high school and is pursuing his academic career as a young adult, is to devote time to my creative side with much more focus.

shootingstarAs a teenager I wanted to be an actress or a songwriter – I had creative ideas bursting out of me in all directions. I wrote a book when I was in my early twenties. I took courses in film and photography. But life happened and I never was able to pursue any of those interests. I have been writing for years (mostly technical articles) and I have a story inside that I can’t wait to tell. It’s science fiction filled with action, adventure, humor, and universal themes that I hope have an emotional impact on my audience. It’s been in my head a long time but now, I am able to focus and let all those ideas out. Now – I get to reinvent myself. I have accomplished my task of raising my child and helping him to have the tools he needs to be successful (and I can’t wait to see where his journey takes him!) but I am starting a new journey too. I have come to understand the value of entertainment in a very personal way as I dealt with some losses in our family and I have realized that entertainment in all its different mediums is a gift, a way to relieve the stress and burdens of life at least for a little while – making them easier to endure. How wonderful to laugh out loud at a comedic moment in a television show or movie or to immerse ourselves in a book that captivates us to take a break from the troubles of life.

So today I am announcing to the world – I am reinventing myself. I will focus on my current work in progress as a daily endeavor, rather than just snatching bits of disjointed time blocks that hinder the creative process. I will continually study my craft, and I have an additional goal of learning how to write a screenplay. I will shoot for the stars. I will reinvent myself.

[Image courtesy of xedos4 at FreeDigitalPhotos.net]

Cam Newton: Casting a Better Vision

superbowl50Okay, first of all I want to say that I called it. If you read my “about” page you will know I liked the Broncos for the Super Bowl when everyone around me said Panthers. I just had to get that out there…Von Miller and the Bronco defense were amazing, as I am sure we would all agree. It was nice to see Peyton end with a pass on the two point conversion.

At children’s church during our regular church service a couple of weeks ago, the pastor asked the kids who they would most like to be like. Being church, the correct answer for kids is typically, “God, Jesus or the Bible.” After several answers of God and Jesus, the pastor asked, “Okay besides God and Jesus, who else?” A little boy shouted out “Cam Newton!”

I think we can all agree that being a celebrity, whether it is an athlete or an entertainer, carries with it a heightened awareness by the public of their existence and in conjunction with that, a perception of who they are. Regardless of how close to reality that perception is, they are stuck with it. Some feel obligated to work at a perception that is not really them, because their fans expect it. That isn’t always easy. Others obviously don’t care and that is not necessarily a good thing either. Whether they like it or not, they are also role models, and I think that is a responsibility that goes along with celebrity status. The little boy that shouted out Cam Newton’s name is obviously looking up at him as a role model.

By reaching celebrity status, they are also forced to give up their “normal” lives. The onus of not being able to go anywhere without being recognized and approached by fans may sound attractive at first, but I am guessing it gets old pretty quick. While being a celebrity carries lots of perks and is often the result of very hard work and dedication towards a goal, when they achieve celebrity status it brings its own stresses. Cam found out in a big way what that means during and after the Super Bowl. He has not learned yet how to accept all situations on camera with grace. It’s a tough lesson but considering the stakes that were involved, I think we should cut the guy some slack.

It is easy to be gracious in victory, the truer measure of a man (or woman) is how they respond in defeat. But that also comes with maturity. Cam has a lot of great years ahead in the NFL. Everyone around me thought Carolina was a sure thing. It’s hard to keep your head on straight when you are a central target of Super Bowl hype. Yes, we all wished Cam would have done better in how he conducted himself. But he is human, like the rest of us – everyone of us falls short. Unfortunately for a celebrity, when they fall short it happens for the world to see. I think the best measure of Cam Newton will come in the months ahead as he responds to what happened. Grace and humility are a life-long process. I think we need to step back and let Cam learn the lessons of Super Bowl 50 with an expectation that he will. People respond to the vision others cast for them. Rather than focus on his failings at just one game, let’s respond with grace and cast a better vision for Cam and give him a chance. The rest will be up to him.

[image courtesy of vectorolie at FreeDigitalPhotos.net]