Love Letter to God

Dear Heavenly Father,

I was laying awake in bed this morning and my mind turned to all of the blessings that you have poured on me throughout my life. My heart filled with gratitude and I wanted to thank you for your everlasting love, mercy, and compassion. You know I got it wrong a lot, did things that I am ashamed to admit, had many selfish moments, yet you continue to love me despite myself. I have walked some pretty tough roads in life, yet I always knew you were right there with me and you carried me when I couldn’t carry myself. You wept when I wept and you wrapped me in your peace and love during my worst moments.

You never stopped planning for my good, even when I couldn’t see it in my current circumstance. I look back at the poor decisions I made and You, in Your great love for me, redeemed each one. I am grateful that you know I am frail and weak and that you look into my heart to know my true intent, especially when I give in to the temptations of this world and fail you. You don’t give up on me and you forgive me. You even help me forgive myself.

I also looked back on all of the people you have brought into my life. The gift of my husband Phil, my son Josh and most recently, his beautiful wife Naomi. My sisters and brothers and sisters-in-law. The daughters you brought into my life not by blood but from love. Countless people from around the world that have blessed us with their friendship.

The experiences you have blessed me with over the years are innumerable and when I start reflecting on all of the opportunities You have provided me, I am so grateful and humbled – Ephesians 3:20 comes to mind. I have been able to do more than I could have ever thought of or imagined for myself. I would list them here, but I am afraid it would look like I am being pretentious because you are so extravagant in Your generosity – truly each one has been possible because of You. The list is long and contains accomplishments I personally desired because you are a God that loves us and sings over us as we fulfill what You have created us to love – such as riding a horse that has never been ridden before or becoming an author. You also exult over us as we strive to further Your Kingdom using the gifts you have blessed us with – such as teaching and participating in community outreach.

My son reminded me of something else today – You give us so many small miracles to be thankful for. Sometimes we lose sight of that because we are hoping for the bigger ones, but in all things You are moving Your plans forward and blessing us along the way. And when our hearts cry out to you because we can’t feel you near – you make the leaves dance where there is no wind (Thank you, Father – I will never forget that day).

Thank you for your amazing love for us and for the incredible gift of eternal life we have through your Son Jesus Christ. I can never thank you enough. Please help me to be a reflection of Your love to the world.

Love Always,

Your Child,

Nancy

I signed it “Child” because we are His children! 1 John 1:3 tells us, “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!”

We live in a broken world. Suffering is all around us. But there is also beauty if we have eyes to see. We can be a part of that beauty by loving those around us.

Take time to write your own love letter to God and as a thank you to Him who loves us beyond measure, see what you can do to be a light in the darkness.   

We Are Made To Be In Community

We are made to be community. It is obvious that we are when we reflect upon the longings that each of us have to belong. It is especially evident in the Trinity (Father, Son and Holy Spirit). Knowing that we are made in God’s image makes it not surprising that we also want to be in fellowship with others. What does that look like? We love being in the community of our family. We keep in touch with each other even though we live apart. We share each other’s concerns, we celebrate each other’s joys, and we pray for one another. Friends are an extension of family. Indeed, friends are the family we choose. Being in community with friends brings the same obligation as family – concern for each other’s well-being. Often times we find friendship with people who share common interests and that is another way that we enter community. That might mean riding horses together, or attending a Bible study, or riding bicycles on the trails in our city. Perhaps being part of a group such as a writers group. 

Carrollton League of Writers

And then we have the community of our community. It is such a blessing to be able to walk into our dental office and be recognized and greeted by name, and asked how our son is doing. We know when we bring our car to our local mechanic shop, the owner will take a personal interest in making sure that our car is fixed and stop to chat. He even made the hour drive to our wedding vow renewal on horseback (a story for another time). It could be chatting with your favorite checker at Walmart or greeting the person at the drive-thru you frequent. Or striking up a conversation with your server at your favorite restaurant. The possibilities are endless and only limited by your willingness to extend the hand of friendship to those you meet throughout your day. What a wonderful blessing to be able to walk into different businesses around the community and just like the song from the television show “Cheers” – Everyone knows your name – and just as important – You know theirs…

Theme Song to Cheers Circa 1982

 I think the relationship must be reciprocal for it to be the beautiful thing true community can be. Phil and I have lived here a long time and when we talk about perhaps moving someplace else someday, we always struggle because of the community that we are so blessed to be a part of. If you aren’t in a community of your own right now, I want to encourage you to start seeking out people in your life that you can encourage and they can encourage you. It all starts with a smile and a simple offer of friendship. You can even invite that solitary diner sitting across the room in the restaurant who looks a bit lonely to join you at your table – you never know – that may be the start of a beautiful relationship.

How are some ways to build community within your own spheres of influence? Lots of people around us work in service industries, but they don’t have to remain nameless to us when they serve us. We can inquire as to their name, ask how their families are doing and if they’re in school or what their hobbies are. We can express our gratitude for their service. It’s good to remember that people are always the most important and no matter where you find yourself, you can find community. It’s also good to remember that you don’t need to seek out people that are exactly like you – reaching out to those who are different is sure to add a beautiful dimension to your life that you have not previously experienced – and you don’t have to compromise your own personal beliefs and values to open your hearts and minds to others. And if you are already in a vibrant community – invite others to join in.

I hope you Choose TO BE IN Community – We have so much to learn fROm one another and youR Life AND THE LIVes YOU TOUCH will be so much richer for it!

What To Do When You Don’t Know What To Do…

Saturday was weird. I worked all week and usually I look forward to Saturdays as a day to have an opportunity to sleep a little longer, be a little bit more leisurely, and reach out to family or friends I haven’t chatted with lately. While the week is filled not only with my day job, but evenings working on promoting Alien Neighbors, I also have lots of other irons in the fire – writing projects I am excited about, learning how to play my ukulele, and riding my bicycle on the greenbelt where we live. Saturdays are usually a welcome respite to do these things. But this Saturday, well…it seemed like the walls were pressing in.

I remember waking up and starting to pray for all of the people I know that are grieving a recent loss, asking God to comfort them. Many of the people on the list were struck down by covid-19, all of them gone too soon. I think what finally got to me was the length of the list. I stopped before I got through them all and cried out, “Why, so many, Lord? It’s too much to bear.” My thoughts turned to Ukraine and the unjust war being waged on that beautiful country. The image of a pianist playing one last song on her piano in her home before leaving it behind to become a refugee haunts me. The world has been chaotic for so long.

The day seemed unbearable. Peace was elusive.

I never did get my peace that day. But when I woke up Sunday, I made a conscious decision. I needed to do something different. It’s okay to have the occasional bad day (and not feel guilty about it) but not to stay there. My choices were fairly limited given we are still somewhat restricted (another frustration being the pandemic is not yet over, no matter how much we would all like it to be). I didn’t sleep in but rather, got up to close to my normal work day rise time. We turned on our favorite local church online service (we have not made the leap to in-person services yet) and received the blessing of being with our church family, worshipping God, and receiving an inspiring Word delivered by our pastor. But now what?

Even after church it felt fairly easy and a little bit tempting to allow myself to slip into the same funk that I was in on Saturday, but I refused. So what could I do to choose joy instead of despair? This was very uncomfortable for me. Usually I don’t feel the pangs of depression. Sadness, yes – I am grieving for my sister and for dear friends who have gone to heaven this past year. I miss them!! But I can usually turn my thoughts to the happy memories I have of them and not stay sad too long – there is so much to be done and I know they wouldn’t want me to over-extend my grief to a point that it interferes with daily life. I didn’t know what to do…

So I did something different. Usually I am stuck inside at my computer. Usually we eat inside. Usually I have an agenda that I follow so that I can get done what I need to. I have a post-it-note list of “to-do’s” for the day. But instead – I moved my day outside into our backyard. I cleaned off our patio table and set my computer up on it. I stayed outside ALL day. We ate outside. I read my book outside. I worked on my latest novel outside. And in between, I played ping pong with my husband, played soccer with my dog, and threw a frisbee. I grabbed my ukulele and practiced the chords I have been trying to learn. I laughed. I read the scriptures in our prayer garden. I watched the birds. I sang spontaneously. I reflected on how blessed we are. I didn’t finish my post-it-note list, but I found peace.

Sometimes peace is elusive. The trials of this world can be very hard to bear. If you find yourself pressed down, perhaps it’s time to do something different. Even a little different, like hanging out in your backyard (or a park if you don’t have a backyard). Or grab a ukulele and play a few chords…

My wish for you is to allow yourself to be human and grieve when your heart hurts – but don’t stay there too long. There is still much beauty around us, even in despair. God is still working on our behalf – even when it is hard to see, and He grieves with us. One last image comes to mind as I write this. A picture of light even in the darkness – playful guards and children’s laughter as they spread joy even in desperate circumstances. There is always light and it will overcome. Make sure to turn the volume on and enjoy the video below:

https://fb.watch/bWfrRJ2l4_/

Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.

John 15:13 is an amazing verse which speaks directly to sacrificial love. The same love that brought Jesus to the cross because He loves us so much, He couldn’t bear to leave us in our hopeless state of sin and its dreadful consequences. So how can we live out the words of this Scripture in our own lives? As we celebrate Memorial Day, we remember those who laid down their lives, so we could be free. Their example is one way for someone to lay down one’s life, and we are forever grateful for their sacrifice.

Pastor Chad of Living Word Global Church shared a wonderful way to celebrate Memorial Day. Rather than buy into the consumerism that sadly revolves around this day, do an act of service to honor God. It doesn’t have to be elaborate – something as simple as a phone call to someone who may be feeling lonely. As Pastor Chad put it this morning, we are all going to die someday. God didn’t make our bodies to be perfectly preserved, so that we survive unblemished into our eighties. We are called to stretch and go out of our comfort zones to help others and point them to Jesus. As we celebrate Memorial Day, it would be good to reflect on those who have sacrificed for us and on what we can do to sacrificially help others.

While we are not all called to make that ultimate sacrifice, we can lay down our lives for others in many ways – by serving them. Our lives should be how others see God – by seeking the well-being of others and loving them in His Name. When Josh was in first grade, he talked about this topic. May the pure faith of a child bless your understanding of living a life spent in loving others.

Cultivating Empathy

I have been wanting to talk about the difference between empathy and sympathy for a while now. I have been reflecting on my response to my mom in my younger years when she expressed the various aches and pains that she was experiencing. I recall feeling bad for her, but I don’t recall comprehending the depth of the pain that she was going through. As I’m getting older and experiencing my own aches and pains that is a natural part of the aging process, I have been reflecting on the difference between empathy and sympathy, how I responded to her back then, and how I would today.

One of my favorite scripture verses has always been 2 Corinthians 1:3-4, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”

This is a perfect picture of empathy. Sympathy is recognizing that somebody is struggling and offering some words of comfort from a place that while sincere, does not actually comprehend the pain the other person is going through, at least to the same extent as someone who has experienced it themselves. This Scripture verse tells us that after we have gone through a trial, we can comfort someone else going through a similar trial with the same comfort God has given us. That is so powerful!

I personally have some regret because I wish I was more empathic to what my mom was going through as she aged: her painful back issues, her frustration at being limited physically in her golden years, and her unspoken feelings of isolation. But upon further reflection, I find that type of empathy is often the result of growing in wisdom and maturity. It is the exception rather than the rule for younger people who have not experienced the same issues or if they have, it was temporary.

I have come to understand that my mom would hold no grudge against my lack of empathy, just as I hold no grudge against my own children. They simply cannot comprehend what they have not felt for themselves. Indeed, as parents, we typically shelter our children from our infirmities because we don’t want to burden them.

Regardless of our season of life, we can all still strive to become more empathic. How do we do this? I recently heard of Brene Brown and the work she is doing in this area. I wanted to share this video because I think it speaks very directly to all of us as to how we can exercise empathy rather than sympathy, even in those situations where we have not experienced what the person is going through for ourselves. I think it’s worth watching – I hope it blesses you, like it has me, with a better understanding of how to be more compassionate to those around us.

And if you feel a little sad or guilty for not having more empathy for someone you love who is no longer with us, I have empathy for you, for I feel those things as well. I would like to share the comfort I have received from God. He loves each one of us unconditionally where we are at. I also believe those who love us (including my mom) knew we were not yet mature enough to understand. They would want us to continue to grow and learn as we move through each season of our life, gaining wisdom and increasing in compassion, without being weighed down with regrets. The best way to honor their legacy is to live the best version of ourselves each day, without letting the past hold us back from being a blessing to those around us, and by cultivating empathy for others.

A Lenten Valentine’s Day (Revisited)

I wrote this blog post three years ago when Valentine’s Day fell precisely on Ash Wednesday. While that is not the case this year, Ash Wednesday is this week and I think this post is well-worth revisiting. While Phil and I are certainly celebrating the love we have for each other today, it is also appropriate to celebrate God’s love: the relentless, incomprehensible, sacrificial, and unconditional love He has for each one of us. For those of you unfamiliar with Lent, it is explained in the post. I hope these words bless you! Happy Valentine’s Day!

ashwedI woke up this morning thinking about how to reconcile celebrating Valentine’s Day with observing Ash Wednesday, when I realized that there isn’t any need for reconciliation; the two events complement each other beautifully. As we reflect solemnly on our sinful state and the admonition that Ash Wednesday brings to the forefront in Genesis 3:19, “for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return,” it is certainly a time of repentance. But it is also a time to draw us closer to experiencing God’s love through the Gospel.

heart2018So let me explain the correlation I think we have between these two seemingly dissimilar events. To begin with, it would be good to get a better understanding of the word love. In the English language we use one word to describe many things. We can love our brothers and sisters, we can have a more intimate love for our spouses, we can even love hamburgers, but none of these describes the love that God has for us. When we go back to the original Greek, we see that all of these types of love have a different word assigned to it. Family love or love of an object may fall under Storge στοργή. The brotherly love of friendship is expressed as Philia φιλία, and sexual love as Eros ἔρως. The love of God for man has its own word too. It is called Agape ἀγάπη. God’s love for us is relentless, incomprehensible, sacrificial and unconditional.

I read a quote about Agape love by Paulo Coelho that beautifully expresses the magnitude of God’s love for us: “This was the love that Jesus felt for humanity, and it was so great that it shook the stars and changed the course of man’s history.”

Godslove

When we think of Valentine’s Day, we think of love. The Scriptures tell us in John 15:13, “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” John 3:16 says, “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”

Ash Wednesday is a stark reminder as to why each of us needs that love. In Ash Wednesday we remember our mortality, that we are dust and will return to dust. We are reminded of our sin, but the Gospel message tells us we have victory over our sin if we repent and believe. 1 Corinthians 15:55-57 gives us hope:

O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?

The sting of death is sin; and the strength of sin is the law.

But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

1 John 4:8 proclaims, “He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.” The message is clear. We are to love one another. Jesus teaches us in Matthew 22:37-39 “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.”

Today is a day we can celebrate love in all of its facets: the love that God has for us, and the different types of love that we have for one another. Today, Phil and I will contemplate the incredible love that God has for us as sinful mortals with gratefulness and repentance, and we will also celebrate the love we have as husband and wife. When you think about it, Valentine’s Day is a holiday that celebrates romantic love, but what could be more romantic than sacrificial love? Ultimately that is the type of love that lasts when the trappings of Valentine’s Day fades into the busyness of life.

JesusdesertAsh Wednesday marks the beginning of Lent, and we have the season of Lent ahead of us. Another Lenten tradition for some folks is to “give something up” for Lent. The purpose is to recognize and share in Jesus’ sacrifice as he withdrew into the desert and fasted for 40 days. Another way we can share in this tradition is rather than give something up, we can commit to do something, as an expression of sacrificial love. For me, I choose to write one card of encouragement each day of Lent (to the person God puts on my heart that day), and mail it. One has to be intentional, and carve out time to do this. Not a great sacrifice perhaps, but it serves the purpose of giving time to God to bless someone else. Just another way to show that ultimately, Ash Wednesday and Lent, while a season of repentance, is grounded in the greatest love of all and is a great way to live out the command Jesus gave us in John 13:34, “A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.”

handheartAnother GREAT thing to do today is to forgive someone if you have been allowing bitterness to fester in your heart. I know many people who struggle with forgiveness, in that they are either unable to forgive themselves for something they have done or they are unable to forgive someone else for hurting them. When I think about God’s limitless grace and that it is through Christ’s sacrifice at the cross that we have received forgiveness for all of our transgressions – what is even more amazing is that God initiated it, we read in Romans 5:8, “For God demonstrates his great love for us in this; while we were still sinners Christ died for us.” He died for us knowing we were a mess, yet loving us anyway. His forgiveness heals us and if we are unable to forgive ourselves, or others, we are unable to fully experience the peace that comes from the healing power of Christ. If you are in this category, you can read more at my blog post: Forgiving Ourselves and Forgiving Others.

There are all sorts of ways we can live out loving one another. A friend of mine is planning on choosing one item each day from her family’s clothing closets, so that at the end of Lent she will have 40 gently used items to donate to those in need. Sounds like both a sacrificial and practical plan to me! May you find special blessings each day as you spend this time preparing your heart for celebrating the resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ on Easter Sunday. And if you have never participated in Lent before, you might want to give it a try. It’s a wonderful way to deepen your spiritual journey.

Happy Lenten Valentine’s Day!

Give Yourself Permission to Cry

I have spent a lot of energy encouraging people to be positive. In fact, I created a Facebook group that I named “An Encouraging Word” to help people do just that. But as I posted today about thinking happy thoughts, I realized, it’s not always possible. We are in the midst of a pandemic. People around us are suffering. Our lives have indelibly changed, and so has the society we live in. People we love have contracted COVID-19 and have faced tremendous health challenges. Some have lost the battle. Children are being raised in bubbles, bereft of the benefits of both socialization and extracurricular activities that stimulate the mind and body. Essential workers risk themselves daily. The divisiveness in our country has plagued our news and social media for months. The list goes on and on. We may not even realize it, but in the depths of our psyche we are feeling an unbearable sadness for some or all of these things.

Crying is a powerful way to relieve stress. Allowing our tears to flow can be a cleansing act that leaves us reinvigorated to face the world. The trigger that turns on the faucet may seem completely random or even unidentifiable, but it is a response to the pain or stress we are feeling, even if it’s on a subconscious level and we can’t readily identify it. Watching a television show, reading a Facebook post, talking to a friend on the phone, have all been triggers for deep-seated emotions I wasn’t aware of, to surface unexpectedly. An emotional response has also happened when I was in the midst of a holiday celebration at work, suddenly filling my eyes with tears. The dam can threaten to burst at the most awkward times, but don’t let that stop you from recognizing your need to cry even if you feel compelled to delay your response until you get to a more private place.

I think my biggest takeaway when I reflect on all this is, that it is okay to have those moments when you sit down and just bawl. A real tear gushing, chest heaving, gasping for air, soak your shirt, cry session. God gave us tears for a purpose. It is a cleansing, like when rain refreshes the earth. But like rain, we don’t want it to turn into a destructive force and flood us, so we are unable to function. Release those pent-up emotions, then focus on healthy ways to cope with what brought them on. Find balance in your life – think happy thoughts and find ways to encourage yourself and others, but don’t deny yourself the opportunities to release the stress you are feeling, even if you don’t quite know why. A good cry can be a very good thing.

Choose Joy!

 

 

 

girl-2940655_1920I haven’t written in quite a while because I have been busy with a tremendous opportunity to take part in a software bootcamp being offered by TEKsystems. It is for 13 weeks and while it has been quite challenging, it has also been an amazing experience. I’ve grown in so many ways and have met so many wonderful people. I felt compelled to write a short blog post today because I think between the demands of the bootcamp in addition to the challenging times that we are living in, it is really easy to get caught up in an unhealthy cycle of worrying about things that have not yet occurred. For those attending the bootcamp, our goal is to receive an offer of employment. As humans, we have a tendency to envision scenarios that might happen before they ever come to pass. The temptation in my case would be, what if I’m not offered a job? This can create a lot of unnecessary anxiety and drain me of the energy I could be directing towards more productive pursuits.

We need to guard against excessively worrying about things before they happen. I chose this picture to accompany my blog post because when I look at the contrast between the dark and heavy background and the woman dancing, it seems to me that she is surrounded with the burdens and stresses of life, yet she still manages to choose joy. I want to be like her!

Jesus tells us in the Bible in Matthew 6:27, “and which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?” To elaborate on that, not only can we not add any hours, but by worrying we waste a lot of the precious hours we’ve been given. I want to encourage everybody to not give in to the temptation of worrying about something that hasn’t happened yet, but rather direct your thoughts and energies to the present moment and what can you do to make it the best moment possible.

I have also learned in my life that if I don’t get the job, there will be something else. I don’t want to entertain that thought because I truly do hope to go to work for TEKsystems, but it is also good to know that if it doesn’t work out, something else will. The best thing that ever happened to me was when I was laid off from Dallas Semiconductor. You certainly could not have told me that at the time, but that opened up a career path for me at Optek Technology where I worked for twelve exceedingly happy years. I started as an engineering technician, moving up to test engineer, and eventually moved into the position of test engineering manager. The culture at Dallas Semiconductor was quite different and I would not have been able to progress the way I did at Optek.

In a very personal example, my son is in Washington state. We have never been separated for more than one week. Due to the current circumstances, he has been there since January 1st and we have been unable to visit. I could be thinking of different scenarios that would caused my anxiety to skyrocket concerning my son’s welfare, but rather than do that, I am choosing to believe in the best rather than the worst. If something happens then I will certainly respond to it, but I’m not going to worry about something that has not happened yet. I can look back on my life and say that 95% of the things I worried about never even came to pass and the 5% that did, I was able to get through it when it did happen.

By spending time worrying, you are squandering some wonderful opportunities to accomplish good things and enjoy the process. It’s not easy, but try to develop a mindset that shuts down any thought processes that tend towards negativity and unwanted scenarios that generate worry when nothing has happened yet. Instead, turn your thoughts to living your best possible moment in the moment you are in, and by doing that you will be able to live with joy rather than anxiety. Choose joy!

A Common Humanity; A Common Hope

Samflowers2I have been thinking about the pandemic and how it has affected not just our family, or even our country, but the entire world. I am very blessed to have a friend named Ingrid. She lives in China. In fact, she lives in the epicenter of the coronavirus, Wuhan. I met Ingrid through my husband Phil’s work. She works for a supplier for his company. During the pandemic, Ingrid and I started exchanging emails. We have never met in person and we come from two very different cultures, but we share a common humanity. I want to tell you about the friendship we found. I decided to let excerpts from our emails tell our story.

Our first emails began on February 29, 2020. Ingrid and her husband and her son, Sam, were under lockdown in Wuhan and the first death attributed to the coronavirus in the United States was announced in Washington State, about 40 miles from where our son Josh had started his internship in January with World Vision. In my first email I greeted Ingrid and her family, and did my best to encourage her:

I hope you and your beautiful family are doing well. It must be very hard to be restricted to your home all of these weeks. I am so sorry you are all having to experience this hardship. I just wanted to write to tell you that you and your family and everyone affected by the corona virus are all in our prayers. We are praying for safety for you, your family, all of the communities affected, and the health care workers. We are also praying for healing for those who have contracted the virus.

Ingrid responded on March 4th with a lovely email in return, but one that also spoke of the hardship they were experiencing:

Yes, we have been restricted at home for quite some time, today is the 42nd day. Life was difficult but is getting better and better now. 

We used to be panic, not sure if we would have enough food; we used to be scared, so many people got affected but no bed for them in hospital; we used to be so sad, so many cries for help on internet, yet so many people died every day; we used to be inspired, so many doctors, nurses, came bravely to our city to help. Since it is not so difficult for us to buy food (although we are still not allowed to go out of the community, we can order online and collect at the door gate), we are more and more get used to this life now.

What makes me happy is that none of my family members, relatives, friends, in Wuhan have got affected. I hope we can keep this record. 🙂

ingrid_goldenfamily

All your family members are good looking. I love your smile. I can tell you are a nice, kind-hearted lady from your face. 🙂 Your son is so handsome, I love his beard, so cool~~~I can tell he is a sunshine boy with good temper. Phil is always so lovely! I found out he loves plaid shirt deeply. Am I right?

Yes! Ingrid you are right! LOL

Ingrid also shared about cutting her husband and son’s hair, since it was getting so long during their lock down. She ended her email with:

Don’t worry dear Nancy, we will get through this hard time soon. 

I hope you and your lovely family members always happy and healthy.  

My husband and my son Sam, ask me to say thanks to you. Your letter also warms and encourages them. They appreciate it. We are now looking forward to spring. When spring comes, maybe we can step outside…

Ingrid2

On March 8th I wrote in return:

Our hearts are breaking for all of those affected around the world. We must all stand together and love and support one another! I saw a wonderful video on youtube – I wish you could see it. It shows people from countries around the world all giving the same message – Stay Strong, Wuhan! Stay Strong, China! China Strong! Wuhan Strong! We are all in this together! If we all work together we can overcome these challenges! Be courageous – We stand by you! We are with you!

Dear Ingrid, I hope you and your family find it encouraging to know that 🙂

Sprinkled throughout these emails are pictures we shared of what we have each been cooking during lockdown.

ingrid_food2ingrid_nancy_food

Ingrid’s next email on March 10th, she wrote:

I still would like to remind you to wear mask when go to public places like supermarket if possible, wash your hands whenever you take food. Do not touch your mouth, nose, and eyes with your hands. I can understand Josh will think we such mothers are “making a storm in a teacup,” but please also try to remind him. We also hope your family stay healthy.

Part of my response on March 14th:

You write excellent English! I am also an ESL teacher and have taught English to my students from around the world, including China. I am very impressed with your command of the English language!

Regarding your question about the outbreak, yes, I am referring to the corona virus. The first case in the United States was in Washington state, in the same county where our son is working for World Vision. We wanted him to fly home to be with us, but we decided it was too dangerous, since there have been over 450 cases. We are afraid he has a greater chance of being exposed if he goes to an airport or gets in an airplane. Washington has had the most infections. Very sadly, they began in a nursing home and several of the residents have died. The corona virus has also spread to California and New York with large numbers of cases. As you know, we live in Texas. It has also arrived here. Because Phil has asthma and is 65 years old, we are staying home. He will not be going into work next week and UPG will reevaluate how to proceed at the end of next week. Fortunately, we have lots to do at our house so hopefully we will keep busy and safe.

Thank you so much for your advice and concern, dear Ingrid. I love the idiom you shared, “making a storm in a teacup.” An English equivalent would be “making a mountain out of a molehill.” And yes, our sons often think that way because of their youth, but rest assured Joshua understands the gravity of the situation and is anxious to protect not only himself, but also our more vulnerable population. He is staying in his host family’s house and working from there. The schools have all been shut down. It is a scary time for all of us but we have faith in God that He will provide for us and for the world, which keeps us from worrying too much. We are praying for you and your family and for everyone affected by the pandemic.

And part of Ingrid’s next response on March 17th:

You are right to not let Josh come back at this time. The most dangerous thing is to go to public places with many people. Airport is surely a very dangerous place. Even in Wuhan, since we stayed at home, my family and all of my 36 relatives in this city are ok. Most of the people who got infected are those who have been to hospital or supermarket. You and Phil please also stay at home. I have been stayed at home for 54 days. Based on my experience, I have to say we human beings are good at getting used to suit any environment. We all feel quite ok at home now. The best things is that we can have enough sleep, which is good for our health but we never have chance to fulfill if not because of the virus. 🙂

In Ingrid’s next email on March 26th:

Haven’t heard from you for so many days, how are you doing?

After 64 days’ stay at home, finally I stepped out of my house yesterday. I was so excited for that. I have been to a grocery store near my house. Haven’t shopped for more than 2 months, even the snacks there made me more excited. I bought so much snacks, some of which I did not like to take in the past. We need a good chance to vent. 🙂

The good news is although our city is still locked down, our plant is re-opened. Not all the workers are able to be back at present but it is still a good sign that our life will slowly back to normal. But experts said the virus may return after our city unblocks, so we must be very very careful when back to work. 

Based on our experience, we all think only if we do not go to public places, wear mask, wash our hands carefully, do not touch our eyes, nose and mouth with our hands, the virus can be not so terrible. 

I wish you and your family members take good care of yourselves and get through this hard time soon~~~

And on March 27th from me:

Thank you so much for writing! You have been on my heart to respond to your last email every day, but things have gotten pretty crazy around here. I am sorry if I worried you. We are well and safe,

I am sooooo happy you got to go outside yesterday – that is wonderful news!!! I understand about the shopping – I was so excited two days ago when I managed to buy some toilet paper on Amazon 🙂 

I am so happy to hear that life is slowly starting to get back to normal. Our challenges began over a week ago which is why I have not returned your other email yet.

Ingrid’s response, also on March 27th:

I am happy to see your email, which tells me you are all ok. In fact I was a little worried about you since you seldom don’t reply for so long time. Now I am released. 

I guess the crazy you mentioned should be people are trying to store toilet paper and food? When the virus comes, all the people are doing these, so you do not need to worry too much, just also store enough at home and try to lessen your chances to go out, I believe you will be safe. 

I responded on March 29th:

Thank you for your advice regarding the protocol for staying safe and preventing infection. I told Josh and he says he understands what to do. He still goes to the grocery store but only once every two weeks and very early before it gets busy. I worry sometimes, but I also trust God to take care of my son.

It is hard to keep Phil home. He is used to being very active, so I have to be creative in finding things to keep him busy. You are right, we human beings can adapt, but I think it’s harder for some people than others to be stuck home. I am glad he likes to cook!

I enjoy our chats – it is very relaxing and peaceful to visit with a sweet friend! Please tell your husband and Sam hello for us – you and your family are in our prayers for safety, peace, and provision.

I sent this one on April 3rd:

I hope you and your family are all safe and doing well. I am a little bit worried because you have not responded yet – I am hoping to hear from you soon, so I can know you are okay.

Please answer as soon as you are able – I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Please give my greetings to your husband and Sam. Phil says hello also.

Take care dear friend,

And received this from Ingrid in reply on April 3rd:

I am so sorry for my late reply. And I am sorry to make you worried. 

I resumed to work in office this Monday. So many emails and so much work, my brains are so so so full . 

After my first working day, when I went home, I saw Sam was playing basketball downstairs with mask. I was a little sad at that time, because after 71 days’ staying at home, this is the first time he stepped out of the house, but still with mask on; I was also a little touched seeing him so energetic under the beautiful flower tree. No matter how hard life is, it can still be beautiful and full of hope, isn’t it?

Sam2

On April 4th I responded:

I am so glad to receive your email! Now I also am released from worry 🙂 When I didn’t get the auto-reply I thought you might have returned to work – you must be so busy catching up!

I can tell you are a tender loving mother also, and that you worry about your son like all good mothers do. The picture of Sam brought tears to my eyes. Yes, my dear Ingrid, no matter how hard life is, it can still be beautiful and full of hope! I also feel very blessed that even in terrible times we can find some good. I have found a lovely new friend in an amazing and sweet lady named Ingrid, and I am thankful for that 🙂

We found in our emails that we not only have a common humanity, but also a common hope. We both see that hope in our children and in the beauty of life, even when it is hard. We also found hope in our friendship.

From Ingrid on April 7th:

About our friendship, it is really a great gift to me. It lighted my dark days.

From me on April 9th:

I treasure your friendship, dear Ingrid. It reminds me that we are all the same in our hearts no matter where we live or what country we are from. Thank you so much for your love and encouragement – they are precious to me.

If two women who have never met can form a caring friendship and encourage and inspire each other from opposite sides of the world, just imagine what is possible for all of us! Ingrid and I invite you to join us in finding a common hope in the beauty of life even in these difficult times and to recognize our common humanity with the people of all nations – we will all get through this together!

We Are Writers

In a sense, I felt like I lost one of my wheels today. As a bicyclist, I think this metaphor is particularly appropriate. I have been prepping for DFWCon for weeks (a writers conference billed as the largest one in Texas, with lots of wonderful industry professionals and fellow writers in attendance). I was looking forward to being a part of the conference, going to the classes, making new friends, and pitching my science fiction novel, Alien Neighbors. To my frustration, I developed a minor (although thank God, easily treatable) medical issue, but it was enough to stop me from attending. I think there is an important lesson here. There are NO career breaking moments. My writing career was not dependent on this conference. What it is dependent on, is that I stay the course. I must admit today was a bit rough, but I will pick myself up, dust myself off, and continue the journey. We are writers – that is what we do. disappointment-3151237_1920