Ramblings

What To Do When You Don’t Know What To Do…

Posted on by nancycgolden

Saturday was weird. I worked all week and usually I look forward to Saturdays as a day to have an opportunity to sleep a little longer, be a little bit more leisurely, and reach out to family or friends I haven’t chatted with lately. While the week is filled not only with my day job, but evenings working on promoting Alien Neighbors, I also have lots of other irons in the fire – writing projects I am excited about, learning how to play my ukulele, and riding my bicycle on the greenbelt where we live. Saturdays are usually a welcome respite to do these things. But this Saturday, well…it seemed like the walls were pressing in.

I remember waking up and starting to pray for all of the people I know that are grieving a recent loss, asking God to comfort them. Many of the people on the list were struck down by covid-19, all of them gone too soon. I think what finally got to me was the length of the list. I stopped before I got through them all and cried out, “Why, so many, Lord? It’s too much to bear.” My thoughts turned to Ukraine and the unjust war being waged on that beautiful country. The image of a pianist playing one last song on her piano in her home before leaving it behind to become a refugee haunts me. The world has been chaotic for so long.

The day seemed unbearable. Peace was elusive.

I never did get my peace that day. But when I woke up Sunday, I made a conscious decision. I needed to do something different. It’s okay to have the occasional bad day (and not feel guilty about it) but not to stay there. My choices were fairly limited given we are still somewhat restricted (another frustration being the pandemic is not yet over, no matter how much we would all like it to be). I didn’t sleep in but rather, got up to close to my normal work day rise time. We turned on our favorite local church online service (we have not made the leap to in-person services yet) and received the blessing of being with our church family, worshipping God, and receiving an inspiring Word delivered by our pastor. But now what?

Even after church it felt fairly easy and a little bit tempting to allow myself to slip into the same funk that I was in on Saturday, but I refused. So what could I do to choose joy instead of despair? This was very uncomfortable for me. Usually I don’t feel the pangs of depression. Sadness, yes – I am grieving for my sister and for dear friends who have gone to heaven this past year. I miss them!! But I can usually turn my thoughts to the happy memories I have of them and not stay sad too long – there is so much to be done and I know they wouldn’t want me to over-extend my grief to a point that it interferes with daily life. I didn’t know what to do…

So I did something different. Usually I am stuck inside at my computer. Usually we eat inside. Usually I have an agenda that I follow so that I can get done what I need to. I have a post-it-note list of “to-do’s” for the day. But instead – I moved my day outside into our backyard. I cleaned off our patio table and set my computer up on it. I stayed outside ALL day. We ate outside. I read my book outside. I worked on my latest novel outside. And in between, I played ping pong with my husband, played soccer with my dog, and threw a frisbee. I grabbed my ukulele and practiced the chords I have been trying to learn. I laughed. I read the scriptures in our prayer garden. I watched the birds. I sang spontaneously. I reflected on how blessed we are. I didn’t finish my post-it-note list, but I found peace.

Sometimes peace is elusive. The trials of this world can be very hard to bear. If you find yourself pressed down, perhaps it’s time to do something different. Even a little different, like hanging out in your backyard (or a park if you don’t have a backyard). Or grab a ukulele and play a few chords…

My wish for you is to allow yourself to be human and grieve when your heart hurts – but don’t stay there too long. There is still much beauty around us, even in despair. God is still working on our behalf – even when it is hard to see, and He grieves with us. One last image comes to mind as I write this. A picture of light even in the darkness – playful guards and children’s laughter as they spread joy even in desperate circumstances. There is always light and it will overcome. Make sure to turn the volume on and enjoy the video below:

https://fb.watch/bWfrRJ2l4_/

A Novel’s Journey: A Look at My Process from Inspiration to Launch

Posted on by nancycgolden

Ever wonder what a novel’s journey looks like? How does the author get inspiration and what is their process? Check out ALIEN NEIGHBORS’ journey to find out:

Articles mentioning Project Daedalus and Nuclear Fusion served to stir my imagination
More inspiration from Project Daedalus and antimatter fusion engines for spaceships
Magazine Articles on Extraterrestrials and Helium-3 as a clean energy source fueled my efforts

The Wow! Signal and strange audio transmissions heard by NASA astronauts further inspired the thought, “What if aliens do exist?”

I had a lot of fun envisioning Lanjo, the alien that befriends my main character, Tom Whitaker. A graphic artist did this rendition after I described to him what Lanjo looks like. The expression on his face (a grimace) is the alien equivalent of a smile. If you look closely, you’ll see the extra digit on each hand and the friendship bracelet he receives from Tom’s daughter as part of the story. 

Flowchart of events in novel (Spoilers are hidden)

Initial effort at revising completed first draft scene by scene – resulting in a much different second draft
Second and third drafts – two more drafts after those for a total of five drafts to a polished manuscript
Bookcover Mockup – Cover Reveal!
ALIEN NEIGHBORS Book Trailer
And finally – Proofs (Hardback on left and Paperback on right)

Book Launch Buzz – Generating Excitement for ALIEN NEIGHBORS entrance into the world.

Now that ALIEN NEIGHBORS has been launched into the world, one would think the journey is over. But that is not the case. Writing a book is HARD, but marketing it is even harder. It’s tough being an author but as arduous as it is to write a book – finding your audience so that you can realize your dream of writing a story that leaves a positive impact on the world is even harder. Please take a look and see if ALIEN NEIGHBORS might be for you or share it with someone who may be interested. Every time I hear someone tell me that it is a fun read that has given them a brief respite from their troubles and they found the story inspiring – it makes the years of hard work worthwhile!

ALIEN NEIGHBORS is available at these fine book sellers:

Amazon (Kindle, Paperback, and Hardcover)
Barnes and Noble (Nook and Paperback)
KOBO eBook, Apple eBook, Google Play eBook

Global Distribution: IngramSparks: ISBN 978-1956891010

A Portion of Sales Goes to Charity: In most African countries, children must pay to go to school. Nancy’s friend Donatien Gilga Ndacyayisaba is a priest in Rwanda who has five orphans under his care. Donatien’s parish is very poor and it is extremely difficult for them to raise the school fees for the children. Fifty cents of the sale of each book will be donated to help these precious children continue their education.

Love was Born on Christmas Day!

Posted on by nancycgolden

As we journey through the Advent season, let us reflect on why Jesus came down from heaven to live and move among us. Matthew 1:21 says, “She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Yeshua, because he will save his people from their sins.” Yeshua is Hebrew for “the Lord shall save,” and can be interpreted to refer to the atoning work of Jesus at the cross. He came here to save us! Iesous is the Greek transliteration of the Hebrew name Yeshua, and its English spelling is “Jesus,” the name we find in our English Bibles. As his name reflects, the birth of Jesus is part of God’s plan to save us from our sins, so that we may have eternal life with Him.

God gave Jesus his name and, by doing so, announced to the world that He had provided a Savior for us, a way out of the predicament that we all find ourselves in. Romans 6:23 tells us, “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

God gave us the greatest gift of all on Christmas morning, in the humblest of surroundings: a manger. He sent His Son Jesus into the world to save us from the consequences of our sin, and Jesus willingly went. What kind of love drives that? What kind of love leaves the glories of heaven to be born in a stable and to walk upon a broken world and call it his home? Only an incomprehensible, unconditional, passionate love could do that. That was the love that was born on Christmas day!

Reflection: Think of all of the gifts you have received in the past. Many of them came to you in beautifully wrapped packages, or with some type of fanfare. Now imagine being handed a brown cardboard box. Don’t let its plain appearance fool you. You can’t tell a gift by its wrapping. Open it slowly and peer inside. See in your mind’s eye a baby, born in a lowly manger, God’s gift of eternal life to you, in Christ Jesus, accessible to everyone. The packaging isn’t auspicious, but the contents are precious beyond measure!

It’s Amazing and Marvelous!

Posted on by nancycgolden

Having worked on my science fiction novel for about five years (more if you count when I first conceived it, but put it aside after three chapters to focus on motherhood) and to come to this moment of time when it will be officially launched for the world to enjoy, can only be described as amazing and marvelous – amazing I managed to get to this point and marvelous because I got to this point. All of the hard work has come to fruition and I am about to launch Alien Neighbors into the world!

Publishing a book is a long and arduous process. After you finish the writing, the next phase begins – preparing to market your book. Reviews are so important to selling books and NetGalley is a platform that many traditional and indie publishers use to garner reviews. The idea is that ARCs (Advance Reader Copies) are made available to registered members for free in exchange for honest reviews. As you can well imagine, this can be a scary process viewed with some trepidation by the author. I am so excited to share we got our first review. Somehow, getting this review from a complete stranger, has brought me a wonderful sense of affirmation and joy.

Tomorrow is the Official Launch Day – the culmination of my dream to publish a science fiction novel that began as just an idea after reading an article in 2000. I am going to share parts of that journey in future blog posts, but in the mean time, my Book Launch Buzz video will give you a general idea of the story behind Alien Neighbors and what it means to me.

If you are interested in purchasing Alien Neighbors, it can be found on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, Apple Books, and Google Play, along with other fine retailers.

And don’t forget to leave a review 😉

Carrollton League of Writers Three Year Anniversary Celebration

Posted on by nancycgolden

I have made it a tradition to write about each year as part of our anniversary celebration. In preparation, I went to last year’s anniversary blog post:

We are living in extraordinary times. The Bible tells us in Ecclesiastes that there is nothing new under the sun. But while that is certainly true, living through a pandemic is new for most of us. It has been a challenging time as we receive changing information daily and must navigate our relationships, how we conduct business, make tough decisions regarding our children’s education, and what we should or shouldn’t do based on something we can’t even see. I know for myself, I sometimes wake up and everything feels so surreal – I never imagined living through this type of situation.

Those words really startled me and caused me to reflect on where we were then, and where we are now. It doesn’t seem like there’s much difference and it can be really easy to allow ourselves to get caught up in that fact.

I wish I could do like I did for our One Year celebration and just share about all of the wonderful different things that we were able to participate in and the very cool things that we did for our community. But the fact is, the world just didn’t allow us to do that for the second year in a row and that’s hard. So what can we do? How can we proceed? Well, Carrollton League of Writers already answered that question and in a very powerful way. We have chosen to be a family and to love, support, and respect each member of our family.

It hasn’t always been easy. Since I took on a full-time job and had shoulder surgery, the leadership I have been able to provide in the past has declined. But the Carrollton League of Writers board met the challenge and kept things going. I think we can be very proud and grateful that in a time where many writers groups have been unable to keep meeting, the foundation that was laid by a group of people who have decided to be invested in one another three years ago has stood firm – and that is truly a wonderful thing to have come out of this pandemic.

I have had occasion to talk to various members of our group and what is really amazing is that we all come from different places, backgrounds, and beliefs, yet we are dedicated to respecting each other and even more, loving and encouraging one another in the most difficult of circumstances. So, what should we celebrate when we celebrate our 3rd anniversary? Sure, we managed to do some good things. We worked really hard at putting on a virtual writers retreat to take the place of our usual annual retreat at Lake Texoma. Obviously, it didn’t have the same vibe, but it accomplished something. It said that we will not go gentle into that good night. The board met several times and created an ever-evolving plan of how we should conduct our meetings to meet the needs of our group.

3 Year Anniversary Meeting

Carrollton League of Writers may have to respond to external circumstances that affect how we move forward, but none of that will ever change the fact that we are the family that we have chosen to be. And regardless of what is going on in the world – that will always be something to celebrate!

Friends are the Family You Choose!

Caregivers Need Care, Too

Posted on by nancycgolden

I don’t think people always realize that when someone is ill, often there is someone behind the scenes taking care of them. I don’t think we should discount what the person is going through with their illness, but I think it’s also important to recognize that the people caring for that person are also going through a very stressful journey. It’s not easy to be a caregiver for a number of reasons. One of the biggest ones is that the caregiver is emotionally invested in the person they are caring for, so it is also hard for them to watch as their loved one is going through such a difficult time. Walking alongside them and caring for them is an act of love, but it is extremely emotionally and physically draining. I felt led to write this article to help people remember that while we should certainly and rightly focus on the person that is experiencing the illness, we also need to remember the people who are caring for them so that we can support them as well. Both need physical help, emotional support, and our prayers.

A great example for me personally is the fact that I recently had rotator cuff surgery. My husband has been my hero, as he spends each and every day meeting my needs. Because the surgery was for my dominant right arm which had to be immobilized for 4 weeks, he really had his work cut out for him. The physical therapy is an additional three to four months, so his schedule is completely disrupted as he continues to care for me and also facilitates the physical therapy exercises I’ve been assigned. All of this while working and taking care of all of the household chores. One of the best things that happened is that the day after my surgery, my very dear friend Sabitha came by our house and dropped off a package at our door, without even knocking.

She recognized that I was probably exhausted from my surgery and in no shape to greet anybody, but she wanted to help by providing my husband with food. He could continue to focus on me while enjoying the delicious soups that carried him through the next three days. I can’t begin to say how grateful I am for that very kind gesture. Another important point is that she didn’t wait for me to reach out to her. She acted. I’m not taking away from people who offer to help by saying, “Let me know if you need anything.” But the truth is, many people may need something (or at least would be blessed with a little help) but can’t bring themselves to reach out, fearing they will inconvenience others. By taking action upon herself, Sabitha met a real need we had and blessed us immeasurable by her gifts, both tangible and intangible.

Sabitha also had some goodies for me which I deeply appreciated, but the greatest impact for us was seeing that my husband was cared for so that he could care for me. What a blessing that was! On top of all that, she returned with more goodies the following week to cheer me on in my recovery. If you know of anybody who is going through a health challenge, please don’t forget them. They need continual encouragement and prayers. They also need love and support expressed in tangible ways. But don’t forget that their caregivers need all of that, too.

Simeon’s Moment is Our Moment, Too

Posted on by nancycgolden

I posted this recently on Facebook: My heart is so happy – I’ve been dreaming of having this picture hanging in our home for years and today it happened! He came for ALL of us! Every time I look at it, I feel incredible joy.

A good friend of mine asked me what this picture represents. The title given this picture by the artist Ron DiCianni is Simeon’s Moment, but it is a moment that we can all share in. Mary and Joseph brought Jesus to the Temple in Jerusalem to be presented to the Lord and Simeon is holding the baby Jesus.

When I look upon Simeon’s face, I can see the inexpressible joy that he is feeling. God gave Simeon a very special gift which we can find in the Bible in the second chapter of Luke. Verse 26 tells us, “It had been revealed to him [Simeon] by the Holy Spirit that he would not die before he had seen the Lord’s Messiah.”  What must it have been like to live a long full life and enter into old age while clinging to that hope! I can only imagine the incredible delight Simeon must have felt as he held in his arms the salvation of the world.

After living a long and faithful life, Simeon’s Moment represents the culmination of the promise that God has given to Simeon and to all of us: a way out of the desperate condition that we all share, a way out of our sins, so that we can be in fellowship with Him and have eternal life. Matthew 1:21 tells us, “She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.” Simeon holds our salvation in his arms – the light of the world come down from the heavens in the form of a helpless baby, because He knew we were all in need of a Savior. Simeon’s words (Luke 2:29-32) states it so well:

“Sovereign Lord, as you have promised,
    you may now dismiss your servant in peace.
 For my eyes have seen your salvation,
     which you have prepared in the sight of all nations:
 a light for revelation to the Gentiles,
    and the glory of your people Israel.”

But it’s not only the ecstasy on Simeon’s face that I can relate to, in which God’s promise for the redemption of humanity is being held in Simeon’s arms. I also love how the artist echoes Simeon’s words and created a global presence interwoven into the fabric of the picture, which shows that Jesus is not only for Simeon, but that He came for the entire world. It fills my heart with joy to see the expression of the Gospel in Simeon’s arms. Love has not come for just one people, but for all peoples, so that we all may be saved. Hallelujah!

Finally, the tear that Simeon sheds is subject to interpretation. Perhaps it is a pure expression of the emotion he is feeling. Perhaps it is a response to what he knew was coming – this man of God who surely studied the Hebrew Scriptures all of his life and understood the prophecies that were to be fulfilled glimpsed the future – that this precious baby that he held in his arms would one day carry the weight of the world’s sins upon His shoulders and the price of love would cost Him everything. Simeon’s words to the baby’s mother, Mary, in Luke 2:34-35 testify to this:

“This child [Jesus] is destined to cause the falling and rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be spoken against, so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your own soul too.”

What must it feel like to hold your salvation in your arms? We may not be able to experience it the same way Simeon did, but we can surely experience it for ourselves – and if you choose to ask Jesus to be your Lord and Savior and follow Him, I believe you will feel what Simeon feels. If you want to learn more about the babe in Simeon’s arms, the Book of John in the Bible is a great place to start. You may also want to consider reading about Jesus in this easy-to-read devotional that I wrote which celebrates His coming from heaven to be born in a manger on Christmas day, Taking Back Advent Moving from the Mundane to the Miraculous.

Available on Kindle and paperback on Amazon: Taking Back Advent

Love has come for all peoples. It is my hope and prayer that if you have not already experienced Simeon’s Moment for yourself, that you choose to do so someday.

My Sister’s Legacy: Helping a Friend

Posted on by nancycgolden

Even when we know those we love are finally out of pain and in the presence of our Savior, saying goodbye is hard. I wish I could pick up the phone and hear my sister’s sweet soothing voice and ready laugh once again. When I think about my sister Lynn, I think about somebody who was very gifted in the creative arts. I remember from a very young age that she was always doing beautiful drawings. I also remember that she loved to sing and that music was a very important part of her life. But the one thing that I remember the most is the love that my sister had for the Lord and what that looked like in her life. She loved people and she was always taking younger people under her wing. She had a huge generosity that was displayed in many different ways. She had a passion for both life and for worshipping the One that gives us life. She had a great deal of enthusiasm for celebrating our family’s Jewish roots which are the roots of Christianity that culminate in Yeshua, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

The very last text that I received from Lynn, she was thinking of me and not about her own situation. She knows that I love horses and she sent me this picture of these two horses. She wrote that the picture really touched her and when she saw it she thought of me. Her words were “This is so beautiful. The blind horse is being helped by a friend.” I wrote back, “It is very beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing. Maybe someday I’ll write a story about the picture. Love you so much!” Her last text to me was her reply, “Love you so much too!”

I think the reason it resonated with her so much is because it was also a picture of who she is. The story I decided to write is her story. My sister would be the horse holding the feed bucket so that the other horse would be able to eat. I didn’t get to live very close to my sister, so I’m not sure of all the things that she was involved in, but I do know that whatever she devoted herself to, she did it with great enthusiasm and her legacy is the many people that she invested in with that enthusiasm. I am one of those people and I am so grateful that my sister was always an encourager to me throughout my life, even when she was journeying through her difficult illness. She was my cheerleader and she was one of my best friends. She would hold the feed bucket so that I could eat from it. She was the person who would look around and see what she could do to make someone else’s life better.

My sister modeled what it means to be a follower of Jesus Christ. She experienced much joy and did so many things during her lifetime. Lynn was also a nurse, an actress, a teacher, and a singer. She was so blessed to have two sons, Danny and Matt. Her wonderful husband Brian loved her deeply and accompanied her through the trials of this life, of which there were many. She faced each situation with incredible grace and she persevered, running the race laid out before her with courage and trusting the Lord every step of the way.

Lynn always called me Little Sis and I called her Big Sis and I’m very grateful that God gave me such a wonderful big sister for the time that I had with her. Somehow the increased frequency of our phone calls and texts made me feel better because we had some wonderful conversations, more than we have had in years, but also worse, because it makes her absence more profound. It wasn’t nearly long enough, but our hearts will always be connected and someday we will have eternity together. In the mean time, I will follow her beautiful example and do my best to hold the feed bucket for others.

I love you, Big Sis. I’m sure going to miss you. I have the feed bucket ready.

Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.

Posted on by nancycgolden

John 15:13 is an amazing verse which speaks directly to sacrificial love. The same love that brought Jesus to the cross because He loves us so much, He couldn’t bear to leave us in our hopeless state of sin and its dreadful consequences. So how can we live out the words of this Scripture in our own lives? As we celebrate Memorial Day, we remember those who laid down their lives, so we could be free. Their example is one way for someone to lay down one’s life, and we are forever grateful for their sacrifice.

Pastor Chad of Living Word Global Church shared a wonderful way to celebrate Memorial Day. Rather than buy into the consumerism that sadly revolves around this day, do an act of service to honor God. It doesn’t have to be elaborate – something as simple as a phone call to someone who may be feeling lonely. As Pastor Chad put it this morning, we are all going to die someday. God didn’t make our bodies to be perfectly preserved, so that we survive unblemished into our eighties. We are called to stretch and go out of our comfort zones to help others and point them to Jesus. As we celebrate Memorial Day, it would be good to reflect on those who have sacrificed for us and on what we can do to sacrificially help others.

While we are not all called to make that ultimate sacrifice, we can lay down our lives for others in many ways – by serving them. Our lives should be how others see God – by seeking the well-being of others and loving them in His Name. When Josh was in first grade, he talked about this topic. May the pure faith of a child bless your understanding of living a life spent in loving others.

Cultivating Empathy

Posted on by nancycgolden

I have been wanting to talk about the difference between empathy and sympathy for a while now. I have been reflecting on my response to my mom in my younger years when she expressed the various aches and pains that she was experiencing. I recall feeling bad for her, but I don’t recall comprehending the depth of the pain that she was going through. As I’m getting older and experiencing my own aches and pains that is a natural part of the aging process, I have been reflecting on the difference between empathy and sympathy, how I responded to her back then, and how I would today.

One of my favorite scripture verses has always been 2 Corinthians 1:3-4, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”

This is a perfect picture of empathy. Sympathy is recognizing that somebody is struggling and offering some words of comfort from a place that while sincere, does not actually comprehend the pain the other person is going through, at least to the same extent as someone who has experienced it themselves. This Scripture verse tells us that after we have gone through a trial, we can comfort someone else going through a similar trial with the same comfort God has given us. That is so powerful!

I personally have some regret because I wish I was more empathic to what my mom was going through as she aged: her painful back issues, her frustration at being limited physically in her golden years, and her unspoken feelings of isolation. But upon further reflection, I find that type of empathy is often the result of growing in wisdom and maturity. It is the exception rather than the rule for younger people who have not experienced the same issues or if they have, it was temporary.

I have come to understand that my mom would hold no grudge against my lack of empathy, just as I hold no grudge against my own children. They simply cannot comprehend what they have not felt for themselves. Indeed, as parents, we typically shelter our children from our infirmities because we don’t want to burden them.

Regardless of our season of life, we can all still strive to become more empathic. How do we do this? I recently heard of Brene Brown and the work she is doing in this area. I wanted to share this video because I think it speaks very directly to all of us as to how we can exercise empathy rather than sympathy, even in those situations where we have not experienced what the person is going through for ourselves. I think it’s worth watching – I hope it blesses you, like it has me, with a better understanding of how to be more compassionate to those around us.

And if you feel a little sad or guilty for not having more empathy for someone you love who is no longer with us, I have empathy for you, for I feel those things as well. I would like to share the comfort I have received from God. He loves each one of us unconditionally where we are at. I also believe those who love us (including my mom) knew we were not yet mature enough to understand. They would want us to continue to grow and learn as we move through each season of our life, gaining wisdom and increasing in compassion, without being weighed down with regrets. The best way to honor their legacy is to live the best version of ourselves each day, without letting the past hold us back from being a blessing to those around us, and by cultivating empathy for others.